All Ain’t What It Seems To Be
The Inner Child & You: What You Need To Know To Be Happy & Healed
Secret #7: Most people around the world, by default, choose to suffer in their emotional pain and turmoil. By allowing themselves to turn a deaf ear to the Sound of Silence (all around us), these fateful decisions have kept them shackled in pain. This everyday mindset functions by default, meaning, these minds operate much like a tape-recording that’s on ‘Loop Playback.”
This looping operation was introduced to the mind (the individual) at an early age as a coping mechanism; it was put into operation by the child who suffered, usually at the hand of another. For children, the suffering manifests itself in many different forms, for example, child abuse, rape and neglect, abandonment and rejection. Of course, each of these can have multiple violent and or vulgar practice implications.
It is, then, with no wonder that children who manage to grow up and become adults, we find that they suffer many maladies including medical, psychosocial and various mental/emotional disorders. This is a direct result (of course, the pain inflicted upon them by another – typically an adult) of psychic scars that have been imprinted on the individual’s subconscious mind. This scarring can be referred to as ‘the wounded child.’
The wounded child is the inner child, or damaged psyche and emotions. Many of us grow up never having healed our childhood wounds and as a result, we become adults with underdeveloped emotions; we are quite literally emotionally immature.
Education, even to this day, does not address emotional healing in our classrooms. It’s as if emotions aren’t important enough. However, the wounded inner child would say otherwise, wouldn’t she/he?.
I grew up in a nuclear family unit where both parents worked and were hardworking and honest people. Us kids had everything we needed at the physical and material levels. We had a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs, clothes on our backs and we were kept comfortable in any type of weather and temperature. In fact, we had more than many families had when we were growing up. The one thing we didn’t experience much was emotional nurturing.
Both of our parents grew up pretty much the same way so, we couldn’t fault them for having to grow up emotionally immature. This, I might add, caused a lot of problems, however, in our intimate relationships as adults (I speak only for myself), how could it not?
As a result, my intimate relationships were always one-sided; I gave more than I expected to receive from my partner. And this was a tell-tale sign that I lacked self-respect and self-love; I didn’t know any different. I didn’t know how to be someone’s emotionally balanced partner.
The problem was compounded by my partner because they, too, most often lacked emotional balance and depth due to their own upbringing. In other words, my relationships were pervaded by unhealed inner childhood wounds of two people trying to have an adult relationship and life together.
Inner child wounding affects us all in some way or another during adulthood. It has to!
To think that it’s not, is naive.
And until we face the problem where it began by looking into the why’s and how’s of our dysfunctional behaviors and relationships, we will continue to be confused and, at times, feeling unworthy. The good news is that we can ask for healing, and in time, the work we do to heal will manifest as a life of emotional richness.
Now, this doesn’t mean we go from feeling hopeless, helpless, sad, lonely, depressed, confused or angry to being happy, happy, happy; on the contrary! That would be like going from being obesely overweight to thin; it’s only surface level.
Permanent healing happens in stages and it’s a time-driven process. But, it doesn’t mean you’re not going to feel better about your life incrementally throughout the journey. Put it this way, it took many years for your particular emotional pain to marinate to the point where you just couldn’t take it any more, which, of course, should basically force you to seek change. So, it only makes sense that it will take time for healing to soak in and naturally flavor your life, deliciously, from the inside out.
As they say, anything worth having takes time. And YOU ARE WORTH IT! You just have to see the truth in that statement for yourself and believe it enough so that you actually seek healing.
If you remember from yesterday’s Secret post, I talked about where Solutions can be found and it ain’t in the same place where the problem began.
Unfortunately, you might be someone who is reading this post who chooses to live your life by default rather than to stand up and be unique in your worldly expression. But, if you’re not, and you’re tired of being beat up by your world and wish to heal understanding that your unhealed wounds from childhood are holding you back, then the best route to take to receive permanent healing is by talking to The Great Solver within you.
Childhood wounds are for this reason – to cause us to be fed up enough – that when we become adults (which, is where our personal power lies), we finally begin to fight back by learning to end the fight with restored self-love and respect. Learning to love yourself is an inside job but it’s the only thing that will heal you.
And the only One Who has your best interest at heart is the God within you – The Great Solver.
Learning that you are this One changes everything for the positive in your life. Years from now you’ll not recognize your life and you will be happy you don’t.
Emotional balance is where it’s at. Right now, if you have not healed, you are oscillating between feeling happy to being upset in some way in any moment. Remember from Secret #1, our emotions are either primed and ready to flee or fight when we react to our old unhealed (subconscious) wounding from childhood or, we are seeking to jump off the merry-go-round by reaching for emotional balance through healing. The latter typically comes to us at an extremely stressed point in life where we’re finally fed up and exhausted from all the mental and emotional activity provoked by being in continuous fight or flight response.
If you haven’t begun the healing process yet, it is probably time for you to take your childhood wounding seriously because your inner child really needs to hear from you. He or she wants to know you love and accept him/her; isn’t that what you wanted from your parents?
Until tomorrow, have a great day!
To learn more about my work, visit my websites:
https://YouTube.com/@8minutemeditations
https://courses.korymwoodLLC.com
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08BWF2JVR
Kory M Wood, Author 