When I was a young girl nine years of age, I started thinking about some pretty deep stuff. I spent a lot of time listening to and watching others. You could say I was an observer. I gravitated toward older people and felt more connected to them than I did with my own peers.
My life on the outside appeared normal however, my inner life was anything but. While quietly listening and watching, I would often ask myself, “Why? Why is this? What is going on?” Things did not really make sense to me and yet, I was intelligent enough to know to ask why.
At the same age, I joined Pioneer Girls and was introduced to Jesus and the Bible for the first time. After listening to one story read out loud by our team leader to the group of Pioneer Girls, I very distinctly remember the feelings I had toward this man who lived so very long ago and loved everyone. I thought it remarkable that a human being could love and be kind to everyone. I knew I loved him and I knew I loved him with all my heart!
To this day, I love him with all my heart. I think back to those days of youth when I was in Pioneer Girls and feel extremely grateful and blessed to have been introduced to this great Master of Love. Having Jesus in my life makes all the difference in the world. He is someone I look up to and strive to be like. When in a situation that needs a solution, I ask myself, “What would Jesus do in this situation?”
Without knowing for certain, I believe the observer curiosity I had as a child was an intrinsic response to God’s Call. It was just something I had to do. However, finding Jesus during a Bible lesson at my Pioneer Girls weekly meeting was yet but another “hello from Heaven” Call. More importantly, I realize now, this was only the beginning of many calls!
I was hooked! I fell in love with Jesus.
Being so young, I didn’t know what to do about being in love with a man especially with a man who lived 2000 years ago! So, I kept him quietly within my heart never paying too much attention to him at any particular time after Pioneer Girls days were over for me.
This does not mean he had been sitting idly tucked away within my heart not saying a word. On the contrary, I could feel him stir around inside of me. How did I know this? Well, you see, I began to ask some pretty big questions, too big for such a young girl.
I was about thirteen-years-old at the time. I remember sitting at my dresser looking into my electric make-up mirror peering thoughtfully at my face wondering why I knew this face belonged to me. It was a strange kind of question and I struggled for a time trying to articulate just the right words in my mind that would make the most sense. After trying to formulate a rational sentence, I finally hit the nail on the head.
I knew I did not like myself. I did not like the person I was. I wanted to be someone others liked. I wanted to be popular in school. I wanted lots of friends who I could spend time with and have fun. You see, I did not have any of those things in my life and I guess I was pretty lonely.
I felt like I never really fit in, anywhere! I was always comparing myself to other girls my age. I was so green with envy that it made me sick. I just did not know how to be what I really dreamt about being – popular!
This childish desire shot rockets of burning questions into my mind such as, “since I know I’m me with this face,” as I gazed into my lit make-up mirror, “Why is it that I don’t know myself to be someone else?” In other words, I was asking myself why it is that I am aware that this face and body belongs to me and not to someone else? Why do I experience myself as this body and not some other person’s body? Why am I aware that I have these two parents and my older sister as my family and not someone else’s parents and siblings? Why do I experience myself as being here and not there?
Boy, I can tell you that God’s Call was stirring deeply inside of me. So deep, in fact, I would never have guessed what was about to happen to me next.
I developed a passion to read fiction mystery novels. I spent all my Saturday Work’s allowances on purchasing the next Nancy Drew novel. To this day, the series is showcased on a bookshelf in my living room. I could not get enough of these stories. I was fascinated.
One day, while looking around the gift store in my home town where I grew up, I found a different fiction novel. To be honest, there were no more available Nancy Drew books to purchase that I did not already have so I was forced to expand my horizons a little. This is when my eyes rested upon what appeared to be an enticing and intriguing book cover image of a young girl standing beside a tomb stone of what appeared to be her exact likeness etched into the stone. It all looked really eerie and I was mesmerized. I bought the book!
I immediately went home and started reading it. I could hardly put it down. It was Audrey Rose written by Frank De Felitta, published in 1976. It was a story about reincarnation. “Reincarnation! What is reincarnation?” I asked myself.
Here I am, just thirteen-years-old and I am thinking about reincarnation and asking myself some fairly abstract questions about reality. How much bigger can life get at this age, right!
I share this story with you because I want to show you that the Call can strike at any time in your life, and He doesn’t just ring you up once. By “He” I mean, God (or Jesus), or whatever you call It. It can also just simply be referred to as Love. In any case, Love Calls out to us in every moment. We just have to be ready to hear the ring and make the effort to get up out of our chairs and pick up the phone and say “Hello!”
God Calls in many ways. He may Call you as a stirring in your heart, similar to how He did with me. He may Call you through other people, through service to others, through pain and suffering, or through grief and loss. He may use words in a magazine, on the radio, television or a billboard. He might Call you from the side of a bus passing by, through repeating numbers, a deja vu experience, or a dream. He might even Call you during a bad accident and your near-death experience.
Whatever way He Calls out to you it will be unique to you. Your job is to listen for It and eagerly wait in patience. His Call becomes even louder when you are near preparedness. That is, when you look up from looking down (for so long) and see another world made just for you where all you have to do is reach out and touch it, you will know you are ready to receive the Call.
Remember, He’s always Calling out to you. He loves and adores you and cannot help but be a doting parent calling His Child to know you are okay. In fact, He’s Calling to tell you that you are okay.
God will keep Calling so you need to keep answering. Pay attention to the signs and synchronicities. If you doubt what you are seeing, great! It just means you will need to dig a little further to find what you are looking for. This is referred to as research.
Let doubt drive your research. Pick up a book about all things spiritual, call a buddy who talks about Angels and Guides, purchase a Tarot Card deck, join a yoga class, learn how to meditate, pray about it, or get a psychic reading.
There are so many exciting avenues for you to explore. But, whatever you do and how ever you do it, just answer The Call!
Kory M Wood, Author 