Shape Up Or Ship Out: No More Excuses

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Follow your dreams. Make no more excuses for your habits and bad behaviors.

There came a time when I became sick of my own excuses.

I said to myself: “Kory, don’t you think it’s about time you grew up (I was in my late 30’s) and stop making excuses for why you shouldn’t? And, ask yourself, “How old do I need to be BEFORE I grow up?””

I determined it was time to either shit or get off the pot. It was time to evolve my emotions so that I’d quit whining and stop being so angry.

Hey, I also had a challenging childhood not any more or less than any of you. So much so that I told myself I was a victim.

And earlier on from childhood to my late 30’s, my challenges were large enough for me that my psyche literally stuffed it down into my subconscious mind (for protection) – out of sight out of mind. Right!

Not so! It may have been out of sight for that time but it was still very much in my mind.

Well, everything is in our minds. Nothing gets past the brain’s ability to hold a window open for the mind to regurgitate past emotional pain and traumas bringing them to the forefront of our conscious minds just at the most opportune (or what might seem like an inopportune) time in our lives.

That happened to me. I was finally forced to face it and deal with it. Deal with and heal it is the process. My Soul obviously saw me as being strong enough at that time to do so.

And, so, I set out to put victimhood and all the excuses to be angry and whining aside and heal the emotional wound I suffered as a child.

Ok. So can you.

So, stop with the excuses as to why you can’t behave better, more loving, more accepting and forgiving, and to become more compassionate towards yourself and others.

NOTE: just being human gives us the license to become ‘damaged goods’ at any early age.

So, you’re no worse off than the next person because WE ALL perceive our suffering through our own emotionally charged lense of existential experiences and pain. Which means, we all feel like we’ve been wronged in some manner.

It’s not about who has the biggest boo-boo.

What I can tell you, it’s about realizing this was part of the human condition and to accept it for what it was, then.

And now, it’s about growing up. It’s about overcoming and healing. It’s about evolving your small-mindedness to graduate into adulthood where the adult finally breathes the air for the first time like it was their first breath, ever!

It’s about being man or woman enough to lay your grievances down and to stop behaving in childish ways.

Just for clarity, what are childish behaviors?

For simplicity, let’s just say that children and teenagers behave egocentric and entitled, but at this age, they are excused.

But, for adults, like you and me, childish behaviors are ANY BEHAVIOR that would not be defined as being in the class of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

However, all behaviors that are enacted in moderation and does not hurt yourself or others in physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritual ways, are the exception.

As an adult, you should know what I refer to.

It’s time for us 20+ year old adults to shape up and follow our dreams in meaningful ways and the only way you can do this is to evolve your emotional intelligence (EI).

Stop playing the victim and live your life like you were meant to.

Fall in love with yourself.

You once loved yourself deeply BEFORE you came into life as a small human child who was conditioned to believe you were not worthy of such love UNLESS you were given the ‘right’ to be worthy.

This right was usually conditionally designated to someone as the recipient of such a prestigious reward whenever they performed in acceptable ways.

And as quickly, the reward ‘title’ would be ripped away at the first sight of unacceptable behaviors.

Yes, we’ve all experienced this. Again, this is the human condition. No one escapes such scrutiny as a child.

It’s what we do with our damage that makes us adults, or not.

Well, if you’re not an adult yet, because of your childish behaviors, then what are you?

You see … that’s the 64 million dollar question. How do you see yourself?

Can you honestly say you are at least 92% of the time offering unconditional love?

Ok, ok … I just pulled that number out of a hat. But the reality is, if you cannot hold the thoughts, ideas, attitudes and behaviors one could define as UNconditional love for at least more than 50% of the time during your waking hours, you cannot be considered a matured human being even though your years say otherwise.

Adults behave like children all the time.

Are you one of them? I know I was and I wholly own this fact.

The question is, do you? And if so, what are you going to do about it?

How old do you need to be to heal and to become the adult your years say you are, and to live your dreams because, as an adult, you can!

Shape up or ship out, no more excuses.

Below, you will find some useful tools and resources to help you ‘shape up’ to achieve your dreams.